A Constellations Intensive, Part Bazillion
So I never finished my tale of the constellations intensive I went to in Connecticut.
It was hot. So hot. Icky hot. Take-a-cold-shower-in-the-middle-of-the-night-hot. The accommodations were adequate and extraordinarily clean. The food was out-of-this-world delicious! I'm not kidding: we went out to a fine restaurant one night, and the food was certainly no better than what we got each day at the conference. That's enough to make me want to go back again right away :-)
And it was also glorious. I had my own constellation in which something really big happened for me. Something enormous that I've been working toward for years, literally. I am a totally different person after that one.
This confirms for me many things: that healing can occur all at once, but more usually in stages, and that you never really know how or when the big finish is going to come to you. A colleague of mine talks about healing using the metaphor of a ship with many anchors down in the water: maybe a healing session pulls up one anchor. But, you might still have two or three anchors down! It can take time and more healing until you are able to sail under your own power and in your desired direction -- you have to get all of your anchors up for that to happen.
There were people from all over the world at this conference: Uruguay, Mexico, Croatia, France, Canada, Spain, US, Russia. It was a beautiful melting cauldron.
I learned a lot about facilitating. I learned a lot about Circle Technology, what works, is inclusive and feels good, and what does not work, is excluding and feels bad. These were direct lessons; not given to me in a lecture, but rather received in my body.
I learned that you know what you know: you see what only you are able to see.
I learned that it is important to be brave and really stand up for what you believe in and to stand for what it good and healthy for you.
I watched magic happening before my eyes. I felt magic happening in my own body.
In constellations I stood in people's shoes in situations that I will never encounter in this lifetime: I stood for a father who lost his child, his little Light, and I wept from a place I didn't know existed within me. I learned how corrosive a secret can be when kept for generations.
I learned how dogmatic a teacher can be, clinging to a script even in the face of direct evidence to the contrary. I learned what it feels like to be held gently, and what it feels like to be roughly manhandled.
I learned that constellations begin even before we gather in the circle, and they continue long after our circle disperses.
I am still dazzled.
I learned that constellation work has my heart.