Energetic Templates: The Uncomfortableness of Being Someone Else's Bitch
In my previous post, I brushed up against a subject that I'd like to talk more about: energetic templates.
In a constellation, when the client is setting up representatives for his/her family, often the words that they use while placing each representative during this process are, "you are my father" or "you now represent my mother". This connects the person to that energetic template, and the representative then begins acting and speaking as if they were that person. In my own constellations, I have been astonished when the representatives make a familiar gesture belonging to my family member, or when they have said pet phrases that also belong to my family member. This can be a little eerie.
Lately, I've begun to observe myself when I am interacting with certain people, and I suspect that we have the ability to place others in 'representation' without consciously thinking about it. Sometimes it appears that I have been involuntarily placed into a representational role by the other person: for them, I'm representing someone else. They are really, really wanting to interact with that other person's template, and not necessarily with me.
I and my former business partner became keenly aware of this while renting one of our therapy rooms to another massage therapist. It was as if I almost couldn't help myself: in our conversations together, I began acting more like this therapist's parent than like their colleague. The other therapist, in turn, steadfastly related to us as an adolescent, eager to rebel at anything we had to say, even if it was an institutional regulation that we had no control over and that we, ourselves were subject to.
It was the damnedest thing. This was before most of my deep shamanic training had happened.
Now that I've been in dozens of constellations, I recognize the feeling when this begins to happen; it's as if I'm standing aside and watching someone else speak and act through my body. Not that I don't have control or have been taken over. Not at all. More like I'm swayed or influenced. I find that what I consider my normal impulses sometimes change when I am with certain people. More and more, I am beginning to think that it is because they have cast me into a role as another person whom they know, and are asserting that person's template onto me very strongly when they are interacting with me.
Now that I know this, it's easier to remind myself that I give no permission to being put into any representation by someone else. Of course this is subtle stuff. Maybe I'm really just being chicken and going no along with what it is that they want instead of standing up and being myself? How to tease these things apart? In the case of the therapist above, I found myself saying and doing things that were very out of character for me. I couldn't seem to help myself, and it did not feel good.
One way to avoid this kind of situation is to remind myself that I'm me and only me, and that I have no obligation to be what anyone else wants me to be. I assert my own Divine template, my True Self [click this link for guided imagery to help you do this, too], and if my behavior and/or thinking changes in that moment, then I know that I have been standing in an involuntary representation of the other person's creation.
One of the deepest shamanic exercises of dealing with our Shadow is to examine the roles that we play each day: "husband", "man", "boss", "partner", "brother", "sister", "wife", "cousin", "child", etc., and to firmly and ceremonially thank each of these roles and bid them farewell, removing one's energy from of each of them. This lets us be only ourselves in each moment, rather than to conform to the template of what is 'expected' of us. It is easy to hide inside the parameters of a role, rather than merely being ourselves. It's easy to relax into the confines of a role because the template for it, the informational Field of that role, has been written again and again and again over the ages by billions of people. The template is there; we just have to pick up on the characteristic energies of the role and go with them.
It's been said that humans are mediumistic beings, constantly attuning and molding ourselves to the energy fields within which we find ourselves living and moving and having our being. When we really begin to understand what is happening, we gain more control over the process, also gaining more autonomy and sovereignty. Being a sovereign being walking with Power is the utmost goal of the shamanic person.
"Know Thyself" :-)